Villain Pub – The Boss Battle

Making your way evil today sure does take a lot Thinking of ways to distribute hate takes everything you’ve got Wouldn’t you like to rule a place? Sometimes you wanna go Where everybody hates your face And the villains share your rage You wanna be in the evil seat Heroes are all the same You wanna go where everybody hates your face huh? Ooof! Holy crap! It’s Batman! Hey. What’s up? Found your little clubhouse. And who’s fault is that I wonder? Don’t look at me! I left my car at the bottom of the ocean. Well he tracked someone here! You can thank Harley Quinn for that. I put a tracking device up her nose. Total recall style. Gross. Her and that little Suicide Squad led me straight here. What?! Anyways. A bunch of big bad bosses all in the same room. This must be my lucky day. Or you’re worse nightmare. Ugh! I hate when the hero invades the lair. They’re always like, “You’re going to pay for that thing you did!” Or, “It ends tonight!” hehehe. “Stop your ways evil doers!” I mean it’s like, get a different hobby. Right? They never do! No. They just foil your plans and keep getting in your way. Heroes. You know what heroes are, Batman? A bunch of bullies! Yeah! Oh I’m a bully. A bully for justice. So are we gonna do this? Are all just gonna sit there like a bunch of sissies. Hmm… I think it’s time we eliminate this intruder. Zod? With pleasure. Raaaaaaagh! Oh POOP! He’s got kryptonite. Exterminaaaaaaaaaaoooow.. I’m out. Two things. Last time I checked that guy was doomsday. And second… Is that the best you can do? Kill him! Now we’re talkin. Bap! Biff! Thwap! Thonk! Do a barrel roll! Get over here! Whoopsies! Aaaaaggggooow! I’m Melting! AAAAAAGGGGGHHHH! Open the pub bay doors, HAL! I’m afraid I can’t do that, Cobra Commander. What?! Batman has overwritten my functions. Curses! AAAAGH! Avadaca… Batarang! Ooogh! You haven’t seen the last of me, Batman! Cowardess Returnus What the… AAAAGH! Whatchoo got, Magic Man? Oh please don’t hurt me, detective. Stabbed! Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha! Huh? You just got decoyed. Are you sure you don’t want to get in on this, Thanos? Nah… Still not my time. Then you wont mind if I borrow this. Oh well NOW it’s on! Okay, now this is just getting ridiculous. Because I’m Batman. Shot in the face! Ooo HOoo Hooo Hoo Hoo! Hahahaha! Finally! I got you! Hahahaha! uuughhaaaaaaaaa. *spits* Awe come on. Raaaaaaagh! Ha ha ha ha! Look at you go! Have a laugh now and then. I think he’s punching him back in time! Wait’ll you get a load of me. Should we try to stop him? Not in this case. No. I don’t think so. Are you done? Raaaaaagh! Good! Gooooood! (evil laugh) You have done well, Batman. Yes I know. Thanks for noticing. Yes… I can feel your anger. Strike me down with all of your hatred. And your journey towards the dark side will be comple… I’m gonna stop you right there, wrinkles. I’m already on the dark side. Dark Knight… duh. So be it. Dark Knight. May I present to you, your one weakness. Hello Batman.
Hello Batman. What the? What is this? The ladies. Oh no! Hi there!
Get away! Yeeees. I know you can not resist. Aaagh! I trust them too easily! It is… your destiny. Hey.
What’s up? AAAAAAGH! You monster! I… I’m Batman… You wanna know my… Secret Identityyyyyy? (Bonk) What the?! Harley! How did you get back in here? I’m known to be quite vexing. *sigh* What happened? What the?! Where am I?! (Maniacal Laughter) You are at the END, Batman. Welcome to the wine cellar of DOOM! Where I keep my most evil of spirits… as well as a good friend of mine who just can’t wait to meet you. Do you know Jaws? Hi Batman! I’m sure looking forward to eating yooooou! (more maniacal laughing) Oh I’m afraid… when this chain lowers you into the water… Jaws is going to have ALL the bat he can eat. MmmmmHmmmmm! No shark repellent for you this time, Batman! We look forward to watching your demise. But it’s too bad that we wont be able to see it. Awe! Come on! As standard villain practices go. We must now conveniently leave the room… and assume that the killing device achieves it’s purpose. That and because it’s also closing time. And I’m ready to go home so… Come along people! Show’s over! We never get to watch! I wanted to see him be eaten! You can’t stay here. Goodbye! Batman! Batman! Come on down! You’re the next contestant on… My dinner! Almost there! Om nom nom nom! And that’s when I escaped. Just like that? Yep. Just like that. How? Well… because I’m Batman. You didn’t have ANY help? Nope. Nobody? NOPE! *cough* Just me. No help… whatsoever. Well that was quite a story! Yep. And all the bad guys got away. Well I don’t think that’s the important issue… I think the important thing… is that I ESCAPED. AND I still know where their secret hang out is… And I can still catch’em all. You need more of us to go with you next time don’t you? Oh my gosh! Yes! Please. I… I barely made it out of there alive. Sometimes you wanna go… Where everybody hates your faaaaaaace! And the villains share your raaaaaaaaage! You wanna be in the evil seat. Heroes are all the same. You wanna go where everybody hates your face It says you just hold down the reset button. I am! Emperor Palpatine? What is it HAL? Will I dream? I don’t care! Just open the blasted door! Daaaaaisy…. Daaaaaaaaaaisy….. UGH! this is taking forever! Heroes are so annoying!

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100 thoughts on “Villain Pub – The Boss Battle

  1. How Batman could really do this in canon: 1. The super strength green pills from injustice 2. Ask Zatanna for an anti-magic wand 3. Probe out every villain's weaknesses with the mobius chair 44. Ask Doctor Strange in advance for a magic portal escape route (notice he took out all the magic using villains right away) 5. Pretend to be charmed by the beautiful women but build up resistance to it ahead of time with Catwoman. 6. Leave a teleportation device underneath a beer glass. 7. Show up the entire justice league a week later.

  2. Loki: Are ypu sure you don't wanna get in this
    Thanos: no still not my time
    Batman: don't mind if i borrow this
    Thanos: OH NOW IT'S ON!

  3. Best line
    Loki are you sure you don't want to get in on this
    Thanos nah not my time
    Batman then you won't mind if I borrow this
    Thanos OHH NOW IT'S ON

  4. 5:31 – The perfect opportunity for a Richard Kiel joke, but that was before your time. Wouldn't want to mix genres at a time like this either.

  5. I had to go back a couple times to be sure, but I realized Thanos is on the toilet. You shouldn't fight Batman with your pants around your ankles. Or anyone else, for that matter.

  6. I would like to see a sequel of batman and iron man teaming up against the villain pub with supes as back up

  7. Batman: i followed that suicide squad here.
    Everyone: * looks at joker *
    Joker: hey i was barley in that movie!

  8. I hated when heroes change the villains into good guys or girls like the diamonds (from Steven universe)
    and they are my favorite villains that’s crazy am I right?

  9. Muy divertido pero siempre me raya una cosa, ¿donde esta uno de los villanos que mas a influenciado a la cultura friki en los últimos años?. ¿Donde esta Sauron?

  10. The Avengers should have had batman around during infinity war, that way the snap never would have happened

  11. Thanos: Its not my time

    Batman: Then you wont mind if i take this


    Thanos: OH NOW ITS ON

  12. Man this series is the best! Love especially episodes dealing with super heroes and Batman either showing up or having chat with Superman in the diner, “that was loved by millions.” Haha!

  13. I like to imagine that amidst the training he did for this battle, Batman was just sat at the cafe with his cup of coffee and a bat computer doing research on all the different villains to work out how to defeat them in an awesome and effective way.

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