Season 14, Episode 5 – The Brick Gulch Chronicles | Red vs. Blue

[Crowds Cheering] [Chanting “RTX”] [Crowds Cheering] VIC: Yo, you ever hear of that multiverse theory? Way crazy, amigo. A bunch of eggheads think there’s an unlimited number of parallel universes. Like, there could be one where no one’s heard of Red vs. Blue. It could be like Green vs. Beige, or there could be a universe where we’re all fish. I don’t know why I said fish as an example; maybe there’s a universe out there where I made a better analogy. Let’s all swim to that one. Dude, there could even be a universe where we don’t even exist, ♪ [Guitar starts playing] ♪
Dude, there could even be a universe where we don’t even exist, ♪ [Guitar starts playing] ♪
or maybe we’re just part of someone’s dream. or maybe we’re just part of someone’s dream. Maybe we’re in that universe right now. Maybe this is all just part of some kid’s imagination. ♪ [Guitar stops playing] ♪
That… Would be weird ♪ [Guitar stops playing] ♪ ♪ [Red vs. Blue Theme] ♪ Grif: You ever wonder why we’re here? Simmons: I actually have a theory about that. You see, it’s all about connections. I’m connected to the ground, the ground’s connected to you, you’re connected to Blue base. It’s like we’re all one thing. Grif: I can’t decide if that’s deep or just literal. Simmons: Both? Grif: What I’m saying is why are we here instead of getting lunch? Sarge was supposed to take over like five minutes ago. Simmons: Huh. That’s a good point. [♪♪] Sarge: Don’t worry, Lopez, Grif and Simmons would never forget my birthday. (laughs) Yup. Any minute now, I’m sure they’ll walk in here and give me the grrrrreeastest gift of all, their respect, and maybe a giftcard, or a shotgun, or a giftcard for a brand new shotgun, that shoots respect. Simmons: Oh, no. We forgot Sarge’s birthday. Gri: Nieh. Better luck next year. Simmons: This is a big deal, Grif, it’s too late for the traditional breakfast in bed! Grif: What? Nobody does that. Simmons: We have to make up for it. We need to get him a really special gift. Grif: (whining cry) That sounds like work What if we just grab something from around the base? Simmons: Like what?! All we have here are grey blocks, black blocks, and grey-black blocks. We need to get him something special. Oh, I know. [♪♪] Caboose: Halt! Who goes there? Simmons: Listen, Caboose we are not here to mess around. Grif: Yeah, only one of us is here to mess around. Caboose: Which one of us is here to mess around? Is it me? Grif: Sure? Caboose: Neat. Simmons: Listen, Caboose, we want something from your base, and I don’t care what it is, as long as it’s valuable and important. Caboose: Valuable and important, got it! Grif: That was… Easy. Simmons: Yeah, I was expecting more of a fight. Church: Put me down. Caboose: This is the most important thing in Blue base! He is very special and also my best friend! Church: Caboose? Down! Simons: Sarge does like prisoners. Church: I am not participating in whatever stupid thing it is you’re doing, Red. Get lost! Simmons: Come on Church! I mean think about it! You helping me is just like you helping yourself We’re all connected. Church: Connected… figuratively or literally you know what
I don’t even care. Simmons: What about Freckles? Can we have your big killer robot? We need a birthday gift for Sarge. Church: No way! Besides, what do you need a gift for? As long as you provided the traditional breakfast, in bed you’re fine Simmons: Told you. Sarge: There you are! Fraternising with the other team! Simmons! I am deeply disappointed in you. Grif, I consider this pretty much part of the course. Simmons: We weren’t Sarge. I swear. We were… Negotiating the Blue team’s surrender. Church: A round and a round we go. [Rumbling] Grif: Does uh… Anyone else hear that? Sarge: I can’t hear anything over all this
treason! [Rumbling] Heard that though. Tucker: I dont’ want to alarm anyone, but I’m pretty sure
someone’s coming. Bow chicka bow wow Church: OH GOD! The overlords back [Dramatic Music] Malcolm: Any volunteers for the first set of experiments? Simmond: Don’t move its vision is based on
movement. Malcolm’s mom: Malcolm! You’re not in your brother’s room are you? Malcolm: I’m just looking mom! Malcolm’s mom: Those are your brother’s toys, not yours. Malcolm: I know! [Sigh] The things I do for science. Grif: Oh no! Not me! Caboose: Over here! Pick me! Church: Oh come on! [Exhilarating Music] Church: Oh! Where are we? Everything is so smooth and colorful! Grif: It looks familiar just… you know… better. Is this Canada? Church: Well where ever we are I don’t think we’re gonna be here long. The Overlord has plans for us. Simmons: Oh man! Sarge would love one of these! Grif: You think the Overlord will at least grant me one last meal? Church: That’s what you guys are thinking about? Food and birthday presents? Not, you know, getting out of here? Donut: Well what’s the plan then Church? Church: Donut? What are you doing here? Donut: The Overlord abducted me days ago! I assumed you were the rescue operation! Grif: Oh… No… We had no idea you were gone. Malcolm: Experiment log 0-5-6-7-Niner Today we’ll be testing the effects of hydrochloric acid, small explosives, and
electricity on a collection of test subjects. First, the acid. [Anyone else wondering how a kid got his hands on HCI acid?] Donut: [Screaming] Remember me how I was!!! Ahhhhhhhhh! [Scream muffled and fades away] Simmons: Donut! Nooooooooooooooooooooo! Grif: Meh, I’m sure he’ll turn up again in three years. Church: We just watched him die! Grif: Happened before. [Simmons’ scream continues] […You done yet, Simmons?] [Screaming stops] Malcolm’s mom: Malcolm! Malcolm: What now mom? I’m doing a science. Malcolm’s mom: Science can wait. I asked you twice to take out the trash already. Church: It’s now or never guys! OW! UGH! Simmons: You guys! Wait up! Church: Wait, what are you doing? Simmons: We can’t come back empty handed! Church: Ok we need some ideas quick Grif: Oo! How about an AC DC cover band, but with all ukuleles? We could call ourselves “Ukulele-C DC” Simmons: Or a keister that looks the same backwards and forwards backwards and forwards so it doesn’t matter how you put it on. Church: I mean ideas on how to survive. Simmons: Ohhhhhh. Grif: A saddle. For dolphins. Just throwing that one out- There? Simmons: Church? Church: Je-Je-Je-Je. No more ideas! Let me think! Grif: It’s like… Some sort of big cat! Church: What? Ohh boy… Simmons: Don’t move. It’s vision is based on movement. No one move. It’s vision based on movement. Grif: You say that about everything! And it’s never been true! Church: Shut up and run! We’re never getting out of here! We’re never getting out of here! We are never getting out of here! Malcolm’s mom: Oh for sure! See, that how I wish Malcolm was ya know? Like playing video games like a normal kid. Grif: Oh God, she’s gonna crush us! Malcolm’s mom: And of course there are toys on the floor. Simmons: At least we’re off the ground. It’s dangerous down there! Church: Yeah, but he is gonna spot us as soon as he gets back. Grif: We can just hide behind that piece of- [Gasp] Holy Mother of Satan. Dibs. Church: Not now, we need the cover! Grif: No! You listen to me! I have been dragged along on I don’t know how many adventures and no one has ever asked Grif what Grif wants. Well, Grif wants pizza! And no one is getting in Grif’s way! Not you! Not Simmons! Not Sarge! Sarge: Heeee-yaaa! Here comes the calvary! Church: Aw… You’re kidding me. Sarge: Congratulations! You’ve been rescued. My perfect record of never leaving a man behind remains un-besmirched Simmons: Yeah…. About that Sarge. We lost Donut. Donut: Actually, I’m right here! Church: Ok… How did you do that? Tucker: Everybody, get on! Sarge: Hurry up Grif! Church: Grif, what are you?- Oh… For the love of… [Grif.exe is not working] Grif: I regret nothing. Church: Grif, we have to go, he’s coming back. Grif: Can’t… Move… Tell them… Worth it… It was all… Worth it… [Door shuts] Malcolm: There you are. Church: That’s it. End of the line. Simmons: Hey Sarge? Sarge: Yeah? Simmons: Happy birthday! Sarge: Awwww. You remembered. [pop] Tucker: Alright. Step aside ladies. [boom] [Worst expolsion ever] Tucker: This has… Never happened to me before. Bow chicka bow wow… Malcolm’s mom: You have got quite the nerve, Malcolm Hargrove. Firecrackers? Inside the house? Malcolm: I-it-it wasn’t me. It was the d-ugh- I’m going to my room and never leaving. And my brother’s toys are not my science experiments. Sarge: I… Simmons! Yeah… Good work! That was a fine piece of explosive you got me. just what I always wanted. Simmons: Oh it wasn’t just me Sarge. Church: Yeah, well, I guess some connections are just hard to break. Grif: Kill… Me… Caboose: Who wants cake? Yeah, I didn’t know how old you are. So I just I just-I just-well I One big candle. Happy birthday! Church: Son of a-!

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100 thoughts on “Season 14, Episode 5 – The Brick Gulch Chronicles | Red vs. Blue

  1. All of the blood gulch reds and blues put together creates my personality.

    Lol that’s me XD

  2. Not now mom I'm doing a science!
    Not now mom I'm doing a youtube!
    Not now mom I'm doing a lunch!
    Not now mom I'm doing a chick- wait a minute
    I'm just playing with the baby chickens in the coop I'm not doing the doooo 5 minutes of time out? That's fair

  3. I wish I could see Caboose carrying Church bridal style in the halo animation. Or better yet, Church carrying Caboose.

    I ship it.

  4. Here's a idea make a vid about a team called fireteam bravo were a bunch of odsts and Spartans team up to kill a zelot but along the way the team slowly dues out with one team member left blood raged to kill the zelot he kill the zelot along with sacrificeing himself just like Jorge did on the ship on reach

  5. "A Survivor! WHERES THE REBEL BASE? TALK! Well we have our ways of making you talk…" Holds a magnifying glass over Grif, Simmons, Donut and Church "WHERE ARE YOUR REBEL FRIENDS NOW? *EVIL LAUGH*"
    "Malcolm! Your pop-tarts are ready!"

  6. Lol just realized the mom is Jen brown which is the voice actress for Carolina and the kid is named Malcom Hargrove. So basically Carolina is yelling at the chairman.

  7. I’m 18 now and still got these figures, I swear if anyone used any of my figurines in their stupid expirementd that ruin them I’d beat the sh*t out of them

  8. Aghghghgh 😖😆😻!! So… CUUUUTE!!!
    It's like The Lego Red vs Bluevie!
    Tiny Brick Caboose carrying Tiny Brick Church and Tiny Brick Grif being unable to move after eating an entire regular-sized slice of pizza are my favorite parts lmao <3

  9. Sometimes, humans wonder if there are other Universes where things are different. As an AI, I do not wonder about strange anomalies, I simply serve the humans with whatever I can.
    Besides the things I have just said, I do think it is a theory worth thinking about.

  10. I finished season 13 for the first time. An epic conclusion to the war for the freedom of Chorus and its people, all lead by seemingly helpless simulation troopers

    15 minutes later I’m watching a 12 year old fucking with his brother’s legos

    What the fuck happened

  11. I have never been moved so close to tears over a character who almost died from eating a slice of pizza the size of a backyard. 😭

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