My name is Captain Steve Trevor. And I’m a spy! and I can’t help but notice… That I am surrounded by thousands of beautiful women! I feel like I have died and gone to spy heaven! Okay let’s remove the rope. I want to stay here! I’m going mother. Someone has to stop
Ares. You know that if you choose to leave you
may never return. Who will I be if I stay? I know a girl from an island. She stands apart from the crowd… Huh? She loves to see her – oh I’m sorry this is the wrong island. My mistake! I am Diana!!! What’s she playing at?! Shoot that naked woman! She’s taking all the bullets! Let’s go! RAAAAAGH! I’m in this war too! Oh shiza! AAAAAAGH!!!!! This is totally unfair! Is that a sword in your dress? Or are you just happy to see me? It’s both. What? Diana, no! HRAAAGH!
WHoa! You’re so strong! (gasps) Well Screw This! Woooo Hooooo! (muffled voice) what? (muffled voice) what are you saying? (muffled voice) What are you doing? I have to go! I said I can’t hear you my ears are ringing! I said I have to go blow up that plane to save everyone! I can’t do it! No really! I want to! It’s fine! Just let me go!
Whatever it is I can do it! No Diana! I can save today… You can save the wo… No really I can’t do it! I have an invisible plane! you have a what!? Oh of course you have that. Why wouldn’t you? Wooohohohoooooo! That girl is such a Mary Sue. yeah she’s pretty O.P. HAAAAA! and that’s the end. so don’t you want to ask questions and pick apart my story? Nah. I’m just really happy we get to hang out. me too Well this is surprising. Thank you. no problem so you took out the plane… Yeah I took out the plane because things were getting way too Captain America What do you mean you’re like Captain America? You just carry a shield with a star on it, fought in a world war, and had a boyfriend named Steve that was gonna sacrifice himself in a plane oh I see it now. I don’t care if you are like Captain
America. I think you’re inspiring. Unlike some other superheros I know right?! the boys make everything so dark and depressing. Hey hey Ladies! You want to know my secret identity? Ew gross!
No Thank You! You’re like friends with my dad! Hey Diana! You ready to get started or
what? It’s time to assemble I mean the… It’s time to UNITE the league! What’s he doing here? Oh I forgot. I got to go help the boys with this thing. Gotta fight Superman! And demon wasp people! It’s really important to them. I bet Green Lantern shows up too!
It’s gonna be sick! Sounds cool actually! Can we come? Oh I’m sorry.
see the Justice League is really just us you know? The Just Us League. hehe. you get it? Fine whatever.
Your loss. I said the JUST US LEAGUE! Oh we get it! And I’m the… I’m the boss. Do you know why? Because I’m…
It’s not always about you, Bruce! What is that? Oh that? That’s uh.. that’s my wiener. Hmm…. Wiener.
(watch ticking) uh….