How The Venom Trailer Should Have Ended


We will eat both of your arms then both of your legs then we will eat your face right off of your head… you will be this legless… armless… faceless thing wont you? Rolling down the street. Like a turd… in the wind. Wut? Like a turd… in the wind. What does that even mean? Nobody says “turd in the wind”. Did you mean “leaf in the wind?” No! You mean to tell us you have never seen a turd blowing in the wind? No… That’s not really a thing. I mean maybe at the zoo. If the monkey throws it’s poop. Yes! See! Like that. You will be like Monkey Poop… in the wind. Nobody says that! Okay, lets try something else. We will eat your arms… and your legs… and no one will find your torso… Untill the pigs freeze over! You did it again. What!? You messed up the saying. No we didn’t! Yes you did! He did didn’t he? You did! It is when pigs fly. Or when Hell freezes over! We do not understand why you do not get our phrases! This is not Rocket Surgery! Really? Are you correcting us again? Do not beat a dead gift horse in the mouth! Wow! I think maybe just stop talking I would be much more terrified if you weren’t talking. Oh no no no no! You opened this can of worms… Now lie in it. Please stop. Curiosity killed the cake! And eat it too! I’m… I’m done… Just… kill me. Hey everyone! I heard the new Spider-Man died… so I thought I’d just put it out there… I’m available! Not now Spider-Man! We will burn that bridge… when we get to it. I think you meant “Cross” that bridge when we get to it. No we meant burn it.

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