How Suicide Squad Should Have Ended


What if Superman flew into the white house… and kidnapped the president? Who would’ve stopped him? Superman is dead. But who would’ve stopped him! Batman would! We’d call Batman. Why are we talking about this? I think we should use bad guys! I’ve assembled a team of misfits that can do some good. I’m holding them hostage to do my bidding. That sounds REALLY dangerous. Let me demonstrate. Enchantress. Go get it girl. *stab* Oh my Goooosh! Someone call Batman! Enchantress is much faster than you know… She’ll stab you in the back, girl, that’s for sho wiggle wiggle wiggle dance What’s this? An artifact? It’s so delicate. I should preserve this so it isn’t ever damaged or broken! Because I’m a GOOD archeologist. There we go. Awe nuts! I wanna be the very best… Batman ever was! You’re ruining date night! To fight crime is my real test Justice is my cause! Batman Go! Puddin, I can’t swim! Gotta catch’em all! splash Shoot at me and I’ll punch you! Batman Go! Batman Go! I would advise not getting killed by Katana. Her sword traps the souls of it’s victims. Oooo! That sound’s exciting! Do you think we’ll get to see that happen? No. Why did you even bring it up, man?! I dunno. Ha HA HA HA HA HA! HARLEY! Come on, baby! Kill her! It’s not working! Her nanite’s been disarmed! What do you have?! A water pistol?! Oh! Right! No! Awe… *gasp* Welp… Bye! I’ve already lost ONE family… I’m not going to lose another! Wait… Family? Yeah! You know! Familia? Yeah… family seems a bit premature. We just met TODAY, mate. Yeah. And you like JUST started fighting with us as a team a few hours ago! And only because Deadshot yelled at you. Maybe… friends? How does that work? Will you fight’em for your brand new friends? Yeah sure! Okay… friends. That will work. Maybe acquaintances? Yeah! Acquaintances! RaAAAAGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! *screams* Her heart’s out! We can end this! Hey, Croc! Hey crocodile man! You mind if I give it a throw? I mean throwing is sort of my thing, and I haven’t really done anything. Do you mind? Okay! Sweet! Thanks, mate! One Boomerang explosion coming right up! Oh poop, it’s comin back. Look Out! No so fast! How are you not dead!? I was saved at the last min… You know what? Never mind. Now she’s dead. That gonna be a problem? Nope. Actually I’m good. Hey! Que pasa, Homies!? Diablo! How are you not dead?! Well it was just fire so… you know. Plus everyone else got to live. So why not? Right? Huh. Well I could use another drink. Me too! Oh I know just the place! I started a joke… What’s his problem? But they cut me out of my movie! Oh… The cutting room blues. Now I finally see… That the joke was on me. Puddin! Oh how I missed your sweet song of a voice! Ugh… thanks…. I missed you too. And she was gonna have us executed if we didn’t do what she said. So Deadshot here put one right between her eyes. And now we’re free! How wonderful for you. Except you seem to forget one part of that story. The part where they still have explosive devices in their heads? No. The part where you chose to save the world. Do you know who does that? Who does that? The hero. Yes. How are you villains exactly? We were in jail! And? So… that makes us the bad guys. I’m not a bad guy. Yeah me neither! And I’m just too sexy! I’m not comfortable with this, Palps! This is supposed to be the epic hive for scum and villainy! The key word being “villainy”. Oh! You’re the magic bloke, right? Well look here! Magic! Whoooooo! Ugh! Bring back Enchantress! She was a REAL villain! You know who was the REAL villain in that story? Who? You? No! I’m barely in that story! Weren’t you paying attention!? The REAL villain is Waller. Oh yes! I forgot!
Now that’s an evil woman! The devil! Yes. And you killed her… right after you saved the world. Bouncer! Easy! Puddin! Hahahahahah! Oh you did NOT just throw me out! Come back when you’ve done something EVIL! Well well well… Puddin! Are you gonna stand for this?! What do we have here?

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