Baap ba baaaaa! Dat didlat dat dat dat dat datdiddldat da Ooooh We’re not doing that anymore. Sorry Shh! shh Shhh It’s starting How Star Wars The Force Awakens Should Have Ended Show me the dark side and I will finish what you started… Grandfather. *gasp* I have a grandson too!?!? Yoda! OB-1! Guess what! I’m a grandpa!!! Oh my gosh! This is never going to end.
This is amazing! Traitor! huh? Yeah! muahahaahaha! AAAAAGH! (BB-8 sounds) What do you mean did you try turning him off and on again? I’m sure they have tried everything to revive him. WoooaaaaaaaAAAAAow! Oh! Thank the maker! (R2D2 sounds) R2, we thought you were done for! (R2-D2 sounds) A dramatic entrance! We don’t have time for that! We are trying to find Master Luke! She is strong with the force! Untrained but stronger than she knows! Bring me the precious! Yes, Supreme Leader. You are talking about the girl, correct? Precious! You will remove these restraints and leave with the cell door open. I will remove these restraints and leave with the cell door open. And you will escort me to a ship that I can escape in?! And I will escort you to a ship that you can escape in. *gasp* Woohoohoo! This was the Death Star This was the second one And this is Starkiller Base *gasps* It’s a trap! Can we just call it Death Star 3? It’s the same exact thing just bigger! I mean seriously! Now, how do we take down the shields? I can disable the shields, but I have to be on the planet. We’ll get you there. How? If I told you, you wouldn’t like it. The shields have a fractional refresh rate. Keeps anything traveling slower than light speed from getting through. We’re gonna make our landing approach at light speed?! Raaawr! How?! If we pass through the shields AT the speed of light… how can you even have enough time to drop out of the speed of light before crashing into the.. And NOW! Oh my! Well… so much for that idea. Shut the shields down! Or I’ll blow that bucket off your head! Oh. Did you say shut down the shields? I thought you said, “Alert everyone to your presence!” Chewy. We’re screwed. Growl You need a teacher! I can show you the FORCE FEINT! Ha Ha! Oh in your face! You fell for it again! I win! Na Na Na Na na na na na na! I know what I have to do but I don’t know if I have the strength to do it. Will you help me? Anything. Surprise!!! Ben! Oooooooh! Weak! Uuuuugh! NOOOOOOOO! Why!? WHY?!?! Where did you come from, Luke?! Got bored on my island. Why didn’t you shoot first, man?! He was my boy! He was going to kill you. How do you know that?! I always sense when you guys are in danger… It’s kind of my thing. *sigh* Leia’s gonna be pissed! Wow! You’re hot! What?! Gross! We could be related! Never bothered me before! Okay! Byyyyyye! Let’s play a game One the count of three name your favorite creature. Don’t even think about it. Just name it. Ready? Okay! One… Two… Three… Rancor!
Rancor! Hottest clothing in the galaxy! Slave Leia Costume!
Slave Leia Costume! If you were a chick, who’s the one guy in the whole galaxy you’d sleep with? Lando Calrissian!
Lando Calrissian! WHAT?! Did we just become best friends!? YEP! Did we forget we’re being shot at? YEP! Droid Please! hahahaha! I had to add that. Ha Ha Ha Ha! I love your eyes. RAWR!