Did you hear that? They’ve shut down the main reactor! We’ll be destroyed for sure! *beepoobeeepbooobeee booop booop!* What do you mean, “Not if I have anything to say about it!”? *screams* *screams* *screams* *screams* *screams* *screams* *screams* *screams* *screams *screams* *screams* That little droid did it! Such a Mary Sue. Whoa Whoa Whoa! *screams* Who’s shooting up all my storm troopers in here?! *boop beep* R2? Is that you? Whaaaaoh! Wait! Come back! Nooooooo! There goes another one! Hold your fire! There aren’t any life forms. Are you sure, Sir? I feel like if we let this slide… And that escape pod ends up being the one thing we’re looking for… Everyone is gonna call us out on it. I said HOLD your FIRE! *pew* Jenson… May I speak to you in my office? oooooo
He’s in trooouble. How did my father die? Oh he’s not dead. He’s Darth Vader. What!? Darth Vader’s my dad!!!? Unfortunately yes. Help me Obi-wan Kenobi. You’re my only hope. Well that’s convenient. Princess Leia is also your twin sister. Wha?! You just watch yourself! We’re wanted men! I have the death sentence on twelve systems! Awe… Yep. Shouldn’t have said that out loud. I would’ve just shot that guy. Put that thing away or you’re gonna get us all killed! Absolutely your worship! Look I had everything under control till you lead us down here! You know it’s not gonna take them long to figure out what happened to us. They went down the garbage shoot! What do we do now? We could let the trash monster eat them. NO that’s no fun! Just turn on the trash compactor… And we can you know not verify if they get out or not. Sounds good to me! This place is dead anyways. Really guys. What? Get down stairs and eliminate them! Okay fine! Suprise rebel scum! Oh no! Aaaaagh! OH Look out! What have we done!
AAAAAAAGGGGHHHHH! I’ve been waiting for you Obi-Wan. We meet again at last. How did you get new legs? I seem to remember chopping those off. When I left you I was but the learner… Now I am the… Are those made of metal? Uuugh! What is this? A breathing device? No I need that! What’s with the helmet? Show your face, silly. *gasp* Oh my! Someone has not aged well. I hate you so much. Men. Normally with this information we’d take time to make a more intricate plan of attack… However, rather than transmitting the technical readouts of the imperial battle station… And keeping our hidden rebel base SAFE! Princess Leia insisted on delivering the plans herself… knowing full well her ship was being tracked. Thank you Princess Leia. I’m picking up on your sass. That’s good… because you deserve it! So. In short… We have one chance to make this right… And it’s all Princess Leia’s fault. Sir. We have reached the planet, Yavin. The rebel base is orbiting on a moon on the other side of the planet. We will be within firing range within thirty minutes. Or… You can lightspeed this battle station to the appropriate side of this planet the first time… and be in range now! Oh… uhh… yes… My mistake sir. Stand by. mmmm hmm! The death star is in range! Oh MY! The deathstar is in range! Well… so much for that idea. Raaagh! Boy you said it, Chewy! I was this close to going back and helping those people. Let him beat you, you had too. What will I do now? Tell me. Hmm? Go crazy I will! Oh get over yourself! Use the force, Luke. Let go, Luke! Okaaaaay I’m letting gooooooooo No! NO! Not like that you idiot! *sigh* Skywalkers.