How Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 Should Have Ended

The fate of the universe lies on your
shoulders. So whatever you do! Don’t push this button. I am Groot! Aaaagh He Pushed It!! ♫ Hey there Mister Groot! ♫ ♫ Pushed the button now you’re through ♫ ♫ Everyone else is dead too! ♫ What were you thinking? You
were lucky to did not kill you. You’re telling me! You wanna buy some batteries? Hahahahah
Did he just say stole our batteries? Uh oh. He did! I heard him!
Me too!
Me three! Me gold! If I could just explain. Murder him! Okay. We all agree Rocket got himself killed right? Absolutely!
Of course! Without a doubt.
I am Groot. After all these years I found you. And who the heck are you? well I thought my rugged good looks
would have given me away I’m your dad, Peter. Whaaaaat?! You have a SON!? This is wonderful! You should tell everyone! Peter! Did you hear the news!? Join him. And together you can rule the galaxy as father and son! What ha ha Whoa Whoa! Hold on! That’s not what I’m trying to do! ha ha…. Holy Crap! Darth Vader is real?! What kind of name is Taser Face? Ha Ha Ha! Do Tasers actually come out of your face? As a matter of fact.. They do! *zap* HAHAHAHAHAHA! It is NOT metaphorical! Sleep. You don’t think it’s weird to get invited onto a ship and they immediately go take a nap? You are all in grave danger! This fool is evil! You gotta get out of here! Whaaaat!? ♫ And it flew yes it flew straight right through.. ♫ ♫..blowing them all awaaaaay..♫ ♫ Watch out here comes my arrow! ♫ Oh! Nutz. Aaaagh! *thud* Great shot, Frank! Hey thanks! You know at first I thought… I should shout, “Down there!” really obvious like, giving away my position and what not. But then I thought… Nah.. just shoot him now, you know? yeah! good call! He probably would have killed all of us on account of that mutiny and all. I know! Boy that would’ve stunk! Sure would! For us! Luckily I’m really really smar… *pew* AAaaagggh! Wait Peter! Hold on a second! Hey there little wooden child! Whatcha doin with that bomb there near my brain? *gasp* I am Groooot! So then I won the fight, and my expansion idea was able to take off… And now I’m currently taking over the entire univers. HAHAHAHAHAHAH!
That is fantastic! Amazing! So… You guys might wanna get going. What? I have a problem with this! Uh… Cap? Remember that Ayesha chick? OH CRAP! We’re in a tight spot boy! Aaaaagh! Yeah! If only we had an insanely accurate weapon that can take on mulitple targets at once! And goes through metal! What you mean like a bunch of lasers? I mean your freakin arrow, Dude! Oh yeah! Sure! Pssh! I knew that! I just wanted to know if you’d think of it. Shut your blue face and throw the arrow! Alright alright! I’m going. *whistles* ♫ Watch out here comes my arrow! ♫ ♫ It flies super fast ♫ ♫ And kills everyone! ♫ Well that was… easier than I expected. I am Groot. Aaaaagh! Just what do you think you’re doing!? Sleep!!! *snores* *thud* Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha! And so we blew up my father, because he was evil and insane… And also a planet. And I helped! and also survived. Hey what’s up? I’m Batman. You wanna know my secret identity? Sleep. Hereaauugh! *snores* Well that’s a nice trick. So you killed you’re own father?! That’s crazy! No he was crazy! And besides he may have been my father, but he wasn’t my daddy. Eh… sounds less manly when you say it. yeah I realize that now. Sorry… Dad? No we aint there yet, boy. Well hooray for everyone and their dads! You know some of us never had a father. Like the talking puppy I too never knew my father. I knew my father extremely well. He was a love machine and would tell us stories about it regularly. Oh my gosh! We all know your dad was a hornball! We get it! Everybody has some kind of dad drama. My father’s probably going to kill everyone on this planet. Not if I have anything to say about it.
Not if I have anything to say about it. Jinx! Anyways. I had two dads as well… and if I could… I would’ve tried to save them. *snort*
You let Pa Kent die in a tornado! Dude! I thought you were asleep! I was! But I was also still listening… Because I’m Batman! I am Groot. I’m Batman! I am Groot.
I’m Batman!
Here we go again. Well I’m Mary Poppins Yall! Oh no. I am Groot! I’m Batman! I’m Marry Poppins Yall! I am Groot!
I’m Batman! I’m Mary Poppins Y’all! I am Groot!
Is this really happening? I’m Batman!
I’m Mary Poppins Y’all! I am Groot!
I’m Batman! I am Groot!
I’m Mary Poppins Y’all!!! Did someone call my name? Holy crap! Mary Poppins is real?! What? Mary Poppins is a woman?! ♫ Starlord’s alright! ♫ ♫ Yondu’s alright ♫ ♫ cause everybody lived ♫ ♫ except Ego ♫ ♫ Not Ego ♫ ♫ They blew his jerk face away ♫ ♫ Heeeey ♫ ♫ HeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEY ♫ High Priestess? They met in the cafe again. Typical. So predictable! When they see what I’ve created here… Their precious cafe will be ruined. I think I shall call him… Martha. ♫ And it flew yes it flew straight right threw ♫ ♫ blowing them all away ♫ ♫ Watch out here comes my arrow if flies super fast ♫ ♫ and kills everyone ♫ ♫ Watch out here comes my arrow ♫ ♫ Legolas Sucks ♫ ♫ and Yondu is the One! ♫ Aaah Haaa!

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100 thoughts on “How Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 Should Have Ended

  1. Star lord: Why are they onto us
    Drax: rocket stole some batterys
    Ricket: dude!
    Drax: I have no idea what a mystery this is

  2. Excuse me, I'm not an English native speaker, can you check the English subtitles for me? Because there's something wrong with it, it often disappears and I need to turn it on many times .

  3. Honestly, I came for the “Hey, there, Mr. Groot.” Scene, But I might or might not stay for the whole thing.


  4. Batman: I am Batman
    Groot: I am Groot
    Yondu: I’m Mary Poppins Y’all
    Darth Vader and Ego: IM A DAD WE GOTTA TELL EVERYBODY!!!!

  5. Also, how it should have ended, Peter had that face armour which lets him breathe, so why didn't he use that on Yondu when they wanted to fly up.

  6. Funniest ending ever:
    Groot says "I am Groot"
    Batman says "I'm Batman"
    Yondu says "I'm Marry Poppins"
    Goto Start
    (This could go on forever) XD


  8. Superman: Hey Gamora, What does your dad do?
    Gamora: He umm….
    Nebula: He's a janitor
    Everybody: WHAT?
    Gamora: … At the villain pub

  9. "I am Groot"
    "I am Batman"
    "I am Groot"
    "I am Batman"
    "I am Groot"
    "I am Batman"
    "I am Groot"
    "I am Batman"
    "I am Groot"
    "I am Batman"
    "I am Groot"
    Yandu has joined the chat
    "A'm Mary Poppins ya'll"

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