CGR Undertow – ZHU ZHU PETS review for Nintendo DS


Listen, there�s nothing I hate more than
people who steal other people�s gimmicks. Yeah, I�m talking to you, Shawn White. I�m
calling you out publicly, you coward. You�re lucky you cut that hair, too. Because as we
all learned in the 1986 classic Highlander, there can be only one. I�m not Shawn White. I don�t take other
people�s stuff. That�s one reason I hate to do this…to review Zhu Zhu Pets for the
Nintendo DS. These are f*cking hamsters, and we already have a hamster guy. I hate hamsters
and I hate Thursdays, so this is, like…I�m way beyond the outskirts out of my comfort
zone here. Plus it�s…this is for little girls. So this game was sent to us by Felicity in
the UK. This girl…I�m telling you, guys. She sends us boxes upon boxes of the weirdest
crap…I mean, Hamster Thursday is only a weekly thing because she sent us so many hamster
games, it became a weekly thing. Nonetheless, even TJ was like, �Nah, man. I�ll pass
on the Zhu Zhu.� �You can do the Zhu, Derek.� He�s…TJ�s like a nerdy Dale Junior. So I got news for you, guys. I have a whole
freaking stack of Zhu Zhu games. And I�m going to review them. Because no one else
on the freaking Internet has. I might not be the hero you need right now, Zhu Zhu fans,
but…I�m the hero you deserve. Lieutenant Gordon. And obviously, I have no freaking
idea what to say about this game. I mean, look at it. What do you want me to
say about this? Honestly. So Zhu Zhu Pets is, like…a hamster simulator
and maze game. How is that even a thing? You start with one hamster, and you have to…take
care of it. You have to water the hamster, feed the hamster, pet the hamster…put it
in the toilet. You can�t flush the toilet, unfortunately. The hamsters all have needs,
like any pet simulator, so you�re giving them what they need like a human slave to
your hamster masters. Who�s really running in the wheel here?
You tell me. There are nine Zhu Zhu Pets to unlock in total,
so eventually, you have to multitask to address their needs. It actually gets a little hectic
for a kid�s game, which is kind of fun. Once you�ve done all your nurturing, you
can put the hamsters in these crazy mazes, which is when things get a little more interesting.
They�re kind of like those plastic hamster cities, only with freaking ramps and coins. What do hamsters even…purchase? Like, cedar
chips? There are about 30 of those mazes, and at
first, they�re kind of fun. Eventually, that wears off a bit. The game is really repetitive
and shallow, so it�s not long before you�ve kind of seen everything it has to offer. The
touch controls are nice, but…the gameplay in the mazes never changes, the sim stuff
is never as deep as something like Nintendogs. It�s just, it�s a very basic…very kid-friendly
pet simulator and hamster action thing. I remember reviewing a Zhu Zhu Pets game for
Wii a long time ago, back when I was yelling into the microphone. Why was I doing that?
I was new at this whole video thing, and my hearing was bad. But I remember that game
being a solid little platform game for kids. This is the same thing. It�s a solid little…whatever
it is, for kids. If I had to recommend one, I�d go with the
platformer for Wii. To me, that was substantially more fun than this. Then again, I use the
word �substantially.� So I�m probably not this game�s target
audience. I also have balls. But hey, I still have a bunch of these left
to play. So we�ll see where it goes from here. Could get better. Could get way worse.
It�s Zhu Zhu Pets for the Nintendo DS. It�s like a hamster soup kitchen.

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